Humor from Great Minds

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
- Norman Wisdom

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.*" 
Edgar Watson Howe
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"*A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success!*" 
Doug Larson
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"*A harmful truth is always better then..a useful lie!*" 
Eric Bolton
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"*We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to
walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.*"
Phyllis Diller
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"*Laughter is the closest distance between two people.*" 
Victor Borge
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"*Start every day with a smile and get it over with.*" 
W.C. Fields
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"*Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.*"
* *Will Rogers
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"*Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work
out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney
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"*Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't.*" 
Erica Jong
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"*Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.*"
Elbert Hubbard
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"*Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.**Wendell Johnson