Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with
a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?'
She hit me.
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How come we choose from
just two people to run for president and
over fifty for Miss America ?
Now that food has replaced
sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise
class and
was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing,
I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go
'skinny dipping,
' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Don't argue with an idiot;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain
cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why is it that our children
can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!!!
Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher - and, since it's in
English, thank a soldier'
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!
Another completely brilliant question!!!
Wouldn't it be nice if
whenever we messed up our life
we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete'
and start all over?
and start all over?
AMEN, AMEN!
Why is it that our children
can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!!!
Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain
cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!
Another completely brilliant question!!!
And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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